Documenting Our Sanity, or Lack Thereof
by MessrDoe-EyedEvans
Summary: A collection of notes from the Marauder's Era. Sure to be nearly entirely random, and hopefully funny and/or entertaining. Focused on Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, but Lily and others might pop up a few times now and then. Rated T just in case.
1. Notes, the First

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ _Regrettably none of the characters about to be mentioned are mine, _(Though I certainly wouldn't mind taking James off of JK Rowling's hands…)_ only most of the events that are used._

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ I like capitol letters. I just want to get that out of the way now. I think they're really swell. Onto more relevant business, this is going to be a random collection of notes the Marauders pass during their many detentions as well as during class time. Actually dialogued and written chapters might pop up now and then, but I really like the idea of writing in note form. I've talked enough, I hope you enjoy my odd sense of humor and please review if you like it or if you hate it or whatever! __And, before I let you read, just know that perhaps not all of my piecing will be entirely cohesive and if you have any questions about things mentioned or not mentioned, feel free to ask!_

_-Lils xox_

_**PS:**__ I know a lot of people don't like Peter. I know I don't particularly have mushy good feelings for him, but he was still a Marauder and he used to be a good friend and a good person, so he's here. Also, this specific bit of notes take place two months into 5__th__ year, and I figure they had become Animagi by then, hence the nicknames.  
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**Key:**_

Remus-Normal

Peter-Underlined

**Sirius-Bolded**

_James-Italicized_

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DETENTION SLIP-Year: 5th

Issued By: McGONAGALL, PROFESSOR M.

Served In: FLITWICK, PROFESSOR F.

Sentence: WRITING LINES

Crime: DON'T ASK.

* * *

I hate you all.

_Awww, don't say that, Moony._

**Yeah, Moony! You know you love us!**

You're mostly right, James… Padfoot?

**Yeah?**

This is your fault. I hate YOU.

**Nu uh! It was James' idea!**

It was not!

Would you like to see the notes pertaining to the incident?

**Yes!**

All right then.

**'Hey guys! Wanna prank Snivellous in Potions?'**

'No.'

_'Not today. Practice tonight, remember?'_

'And I have Gobstones! It's the first meeting of the month and they're picking a new Club President!'

**'****Ah. Sweet, innocent, Gobstone-obsessed Wormtail… Anyways. Come on, one little prank? I just wanna add an extra ingredient!'**

_'__You can.'_

'But nothing dangerous.'

_'__AND DON"T GET CAUGHT. We're up against Ravenclaw next game and they've been booking the field a lot lately.'_

Explain to me again why you decided turning him into a frog would be a good idea?

And the whole 'he's got to be kissed by a girl' thing. You know Evans is the only girl who'll go anywhere near him.

**It's a classic story book element whose repercussions in the particular situation I sort of overlooked.**

Oh, and the 'Prongs hates Snape' thing.

**I didn't know Prongs would jump him!**

You didn't?

Even I knew that!

**I said I was sorry!**

_No, you blamed it on me!_

**You're the one who pounced!**

I hate you all.

Even me?

Not you Peter.

_Even me? _

Not so much you, James.

**Even me?**

Yes.

**Jerk…**


	2. Notes, the Second

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ _I still don't own the characters mentioned.  
_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ I sill like capitol letters. Hopefully you read and enjoyed the first chapter, I really like writing these random bits and pieces. I just want to say again before I let you read that not all of my piecing will be entirely cohesive and if you have any questions about anything mentioned or not mentioned, feel free to ask! I still hope you review if you like it or if you hate it or whatever!_

_-Lils xox

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_**Key:**_

Remus-Normal

Peter-Underlined

**Sirius-Bolded**

_James-Italicized

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NOTES-Year: 5th

Class: POTIONS

Teacher: SLUGHORN, PROFESSOR H.

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**Moony?**

Yes, Padfoot?

**I need help.**

No.

**I didn't even ask yet.**

Would a professor approve?

**Yes.**

Really?

**No… Well, kinda, yeah.**

What do you want to do?

**I want to fill the Great Hall with Lemon Drops!**

Which professor would approve of that?

_Dumbledore._

**He's crazy about those things.**

Oh, that's right. I remember from last week with the catnip…

That was a good one!

That detention's tomorrow, right?

Yep!

**So Moony?**

Fine.

**YES!**

_Pads, will you quit dancing? Slughorn's looking now._

**Hitting me with the ink bottle was harsh.**

You needed it.

**Moony are you still upset about that one thing with the fro-**

_MENTION IT NOT! MENTION IT NOT!_

**Stop screaming that in my ear!**

_MENTION IT NOT!_

He still touchy about amphibians?

Yeah… He freaked out during Transfiguration while you were in the hospital wing. We were turning the… Fs into these little green coin purses. And he started yelling about needing to 'stem the flow of the green tide' and 'end the green menace' and jumping around on the furniture. We finally cornered him on a cabinet and Minerva eventually got him down and sent him to Dumbledore.

Oh my…

Yeah. It was pretty crazy. Evans was really angry. For a good half hour she was demanding he 'remove himself from that cabinet' and that she 'was a fellow student attempting to learn and therefore entitled to kick his arse if he didn't knock it off immediately'. Minerva told her that if she didn't sit back down and stop shouting Minerva'd sedate her.

How come I didn't hear about this?

Minerva swore everyone to secrecy. I hope I don't get in trouble...

I won't tell anyone you told me.

_You told him? END THE GREEN MENACE! JOIN WITH ME AND TOGETHER WE CAN STEM THE FLOW OF THE GREEN TIDE!_

**Shoot. Not again…**


	3. Notes, the Third

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ _Sadly, the characters mentioned still belong to JK Rowling._

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ I really hope you read and liked the first two chapters. I'm sorry this one is so short, but I liked the idea and I couldn't really think of much more to add. I just want to say again before I let you read that perhaps not all of my piecing will be entirely cohesive and if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Please review if you like it or if you hate it or whatever!_

_-Lils xox_

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_**Key:**_

Remus-Normal

Peter-Underlined

**Sirius-Bolded**

_James-Italicized

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DETENTION SLIP-Year: 5th

Issued By: SLUGHORN, PROFESSOR H.

Served In: SLUGHORN, PROFESSOR H.

Sentence: CLEANING VIALS

Crime: TEMPERING WITH FELLOW STUDENTS' POTIONS

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Is he still whimpering?

_Yes._

**He's so touchy…**

He watched Mrs. Norris tear up a rat.

**Still touchy. He could've left.**

_He was stuck in the staircase._

**Nice excuse, isn't it?**_  
_

Padfoot, you amaze me… I don't think you quite realize the trauma Peter experienced. Peter fell down a flight of stairs and got landed on the trick step and couldn't look anywhere other than directly in front of him. Then, Mrs. Norris comes along and starts tearing into a rat not two meters in front of him. He can't move because of the stair and he can't close his eyes because he's very frightened.

So pointy…

_It's all right, Wormy. There're no cats in here._

EVIL MASSES OF FUR! SPAWN OF THE DEVIL!

**Smooth, Prongs… That's like you with the frogs…**

_END THE GREEN MENACE! STEM THE FLOW OF THE GREEN TIDE!_

Nice Padfoot. Real nice... I can't tell which is worse, those two or your issue with ceramic gnomes.

**POINTY HATS OF DEATH! THEY WATCH YOU FROM THEIR GARDEN-Y POSTS!

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**

Remus sighed and looked up a Slughorn who, confused by Peter's outburst and a bit worried concerning James' and Sirius' shouting was now looking over at the four boys where Peter was sobbing and holding onto Remus' ankle, James was sitting on a cabinet and Sirius was clutching Remus' head and James' big toe and Remus was shaking his head, with some difficulty, looking disappointed. "Professor?" Started Remus, looking at his friends for a moment before returning his gaze to Slughorn, "I think we need to go to the Hospital Wing…"


	4. Notes, the Fourth

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ _Alas, all of these lovely characters still belong to JK Rowling._

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ Here's the detention received from the Catnip Incident. I just want to say again before I let you read that not all of my piecing will be entirely cohesive and if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Please review if you like it or if you hate it or whatever!_

_-Lils xox

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_**Key:**_

Remus-Normal

Peter-Underlined

**Sirius-Bolded**

_James-Italicized

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DETENTION SLIP-Year: 5th

Issued By: McGONAGALL, PROFESSOR M.

Served In: McGONAGALL, PROFESSOR M.

Sentence: WRITING LINES

Crime: CATNIP INCIDENT

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_Moony?_

**Moony?**

Moony?

**Moony?**

_Moony?_

Moony?

_Moony?_

**Moony?**

Moony?

WHAT?

**Hi!**

Shut up, Sirius.

**OK!**

Moony?

Yes, Peter?

How do you spell that one word with the 'R'? And the one before it? And after it?

'I will not attempt to bribe and/or prank my teacher by tempting or drowning that teacher in catnip, regardless of anything about said teacher having anything remotely to do with cats.'

**Are lines even allowed to be that long?**

Sadly, yes,

We have to write that 150 times?

Sadly, yes.

_I despise you Black._

**I didn't know she'd be angry! I thought cats liked catnip!**

Making all that catnip rain down from the ceiling is NOT the way to go about giving McGonagall catnip.

**Well sorry. I try and give Minnie a gift and I have to do lines and get yelled at by our best friends.**

You deserve it. Now write your lines.

**You all hate me, don't you?**

_Yes_.

You should probably write your lines.

**Pshh. I don't write lines.**

Padfoot?

**Yeah?**

WRITE YOUR LINES!

**Yes Moony…**

_Ha! You're whipped, Pads._

James, write.

_Oh, you don't scare me Remus._

I'll tell Lily where her socks keep going.

_Writing!_

Haha! This is fun!

**Remus, can I say something?**

Yes.

**Peter, the fact that you find this detention 'fun' is wrong and deeply worries me.**

_Moony, can I say something?_

Quickly.

_Sirius, be nice. You think detention is fun sometimes too_.

Remus?

You can talk freely, Peter.

Oh? Yay! Well, um, I like detention because I get to spend it with you guys…

Aww, that's nice Peter.

**Yeah that is re-**

Write, Sirius.


End file.
